https://c7.staticflickr.com/3/2305/2070209030_044d6a89a4_b.jpg
It was a warm ball, dipped in neon orange and yellow cotton candy, that contrasted the black geometric shapes in the foreground. It was a shame Mom decided to skip this to be with her new fiance. I felt as though she didn’t care about me anymore. Everything was turning around, and it was being delivered on me. I wish everything would just agree with me for once… like the scenery. Everything was still, cold, cold, water. All of a sudden, a huge arm grabs me by the neck….
(Continue the story if you wish)
…Grabs me by the neck. I quickly use my knowledge in jujitsu to counter the attack from that random scuba diver. He falls in the water and I realize that it was my brother pulling a prank on me.
Hakim! That’s intense, yet adds the perfect twist to it… I really like that
Hello! My name is Emily. I really liked the part about your story where your story is so descriptive. Your story really made me think about how I can make my writing for descriptive. Check out my landscape story at http://mcdowellmedia.edublogs.org/2016/10/25/the-valley/ !
Hey Emily,
I’m really glad you enjoyed my story, and that it helped you improve yours. I would love to read your final product!
Jenn
I love how you surprised us readers with that twisted at the end. It wanted me to read way more. Was this story true?
I’m so glad you loved the suspense… funny enough, I hate suspense XD
This story is not true, just wandered itself out of my imagination actually
Jenn
Your blog leaves me wanting more, and I’m fascinated by that. I just wish there could be a little more plot leading up to the climax.
Hello Jennifer! This story is very interesting to me! I personally love suspense stories and this one was very suspenseful. I love the vivid details you have at the beginning and how much emotion is flowing through this story. To finish the end… A man I have never seen before is dragging me through the sand to his parked car. I am so scared. All that is running through my head is my mom and her fiance, how they don’t even know what is happening. Next thing I know, a rag is pushed over my nose and mouth and I fall into a deep sleep.
I love the picture you used! You’re choice of vocabulary is outstanding! I would love to read more of you’re blogs!
To end the story: Grabs me by the neck… (a figure of speech). Which, to me, came off as a sign to me that nobody cared… nobody at all. //I loved your post! It was very interesting! Is this a true story?
JENNIFER!!! THE BEGINNING OF THIS STORY IS AMAZING!!! FINISH IT!!! And also, if you have time, will you please read mine???
http://rosaneisd20.edublogs.org/2016/10/24/blaire-story/
i like how u subscribed the sun and i love your word choice and how you just put it together like that i loved it
I like how you write which that really inspires me to become more of a good writer and i feel you make a great remodel with what you have done. Thank you, Samantha
Cool picture. Do you know where it was shot at?
I like how you made the end twisted, I really liked that. This story was interesting to me.
Then she turns out that it’s the new guy in her mom’s life!
i like how u describe the sun and i loved your word choice and how it flowed together
… While the strange man is still holding my neck, I struggle to see who it is. Once he tossed me into his car. I finally got a good look of him. It was my mom’s fiance ! I was terrified. He told me to keep quiet and lay down against the seat. I asked why. He said it was going to be a VERY long ride. Then I had an idea…
This is a really good start, I like how she spoke of her mom you could tell she was dazed and wasnt paying attention to her sourndings. did you know sunset are created by polution? will you finish the story?
Hello! My name is Caitlin I really liked the part about your story where your story is so descriptive. Your story really made me think about how I can make my writing for descriptive.
I like that the ending of your story is suspenseful. It was a great short story I really enjoyed it!
this story was very interesting and left me wanting to read more. it was very detailed and it felt like when you read it you also felt it. what was your inspiration on writing this story?
i liked the imendrey you used it really pulls the reader in.
Hi Jennifer, I loved how you made your story a bit of a “cliff hanger”!
I also loved how you gave in so much detail -witch I agree is the best in stories!
I adored how you pick a simple yet no over the top picture to go with yet descriptive story!
Hope to see more!
Cleo x
I liked the way you gave a suspenseful start, it made me want to read more.
Good job
James
Hello Jennifer Wow that was a Beautiful video i never ever saw that before . Do you Think That is a beautiful picture too. You had a great story about yourself
Love how you started this story and very detailed. Wish you would’ve ended it.